I take a few prescription medications–2 for sleep and 1 daily for anxiety and depression, Lexapro (Escitalopram). This isn’t a very powerful drug, Lexapro; I don’t need it as much as someone with Schizophrenia may need clozapine, for example, but since the unbearable suffering of my last major depressive episode, I’ll use any tool at my disposal to fortify my defenses.
Here’s the rub: I don’t have any money. During a fairly recent descent into madness, I lost it all and I literally have no money at all. I’m looking for work, but for the moment I simply must do without my Rx, which is about $100 a month. Obviously an entire book can be written about our broken health care system in the US–and many have–especially about preventative measures and the long-term cost-benefit savings of a Single-Payer system(Wow, that’s alot of hyphens), but for now I’m just journaling my own personal experience.
If I had Diabetes or AIDS or Crohn’s disease and needed life saving medications, that would be different. Maybe then I’d start a GoFundMe or file for disability, et cetera, but this prescription doesn’t seem to have, as far as I can tell from my extremely subjective observations, an earth-moving effect on my mood or functioning. So I feel confident that I can do without until I figure something out. Of course, feeling confident that “I’m good” or “past it” is what has historically led me to be less vigilant about my maintenance and nurturing of my mental illness and substance abuse, thus leading toward mental breakdowns, depression, and even suicide.
I’m riding my bike 223 miles to the Native American reservation where my mom lives and hope that I can receive some assistance with my prescriptions. until then I’ll be wrestling, with a listening ear, with my question:
To Rx, or not to Rx?