Hard-on Myself

I’ve always been extremely hard on my self. Unforgiving. I think most people are, but I mean—I really, really like to kick my teeth in, when I’ve got nothin’ better around to kick. So sometimes, when I get soooo hard on myself it’s masturbation, and I’m about to explode, I have to look myself in the eyes (with the help of a mirror) and tell myself: “You made a mistake. You fucked up. You were weak. That doesn’t mean you ARE weak. And it doesn’t mean you have to keep being weak—But you will be again, at some point, and that’s one of the many reasons you have so many fierce, beautiful warriors in your life—to be strong for you when you can’t be—but don’t worry, that will be rare. Very rare. Because you learn. And you grow. And you get better each day—but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna be easy. You won’t be able to lay your head in your momma’s lap and daydream tomorrow here. You will have to work hard. Harder than you thought was possible, or fair. But you will. And it will be worth it. and it will be Astounding. And YOU will be there to witness the Witchcraft!”

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