You Don’t Have to like Caitlyn Jenner to LOVE Trans folk

I don’t know much about the Kardashians or the Jenners and I don’t really care about their personal lives or shows, et cetera. What is confusing the hell out of me, is why people are transforming their disgust with that family into another excuse to discount trans/pan gendered and non cis-sexual folk and their experiences, YET AGAIN. Trans folk have had to endure torture, hate, violence, murder, bullying, et cetera since the beginning of time; If trans folk or the larger trans community is excited to see a major public figure put transgender/sexual issues on the map and on our FB pages, let them be excited! If you don’t have a dog in the fight, why do you care?! The suicide rate amongst trans folk is nearly 1 out of every 2!!! So when someone in the trans community tells you it takes bravery to be trans, believe them! They know their experience better than you know their experience; It’s like I just met you, you tell me your name is Jessica and I say, “No. Your name’s Tom. Nice to meet you Tom.”

Is Jenner a hero? some people say that she’s doing all this for money and publicity. I don’t have the slightest idea what’s in her heart nor have I been following the articles and E! News, so I won’t pretend to have an opinion on that. But generally, the hero is made by those they inspire, not by the “hero” (here’s where we get philosophical/technical). In other words, If you do something amazing in space, you cannot be a hero, but if someone sees you do something they wish they could do, they can decide to MAKE you a hero–their hero.

Are the Kardashians/Jenners good role models? I don’t pay enough attention to them to have a strong opinion, but I’d guess they’re not the best out there. But if you’re bringing that into the discussion you’ve already missed the point. If you are not a member of the trans community, you don’t have the right to decide which victories to celebrate. Forget the personalities for a second and let’s all celebrate as a human species, together, that a major source of violence and hate is becoming less taboo and that more of our brothers and sisters and whoever else wants to be loved, can be. Let’s celebrate the deterioration of ignorance. Let’s celebrate cooperation over competition. Our happiness as individuals is not mutually exclusive, nor are the myriad identities we chose, as well as those we do not. 

To Rx, or not to RX?

I take a few prescription medications–2 for sleep and 1 daily for anxiety and depression, Lexapro (Escitalopram). This isn’t a very powerful drug, Lexapro; I don’t need it as much as someone with Schizophrenia may need clozapine, for example, but since the unbearable suffering of my last major depressive episode, I’ll use any tool at my disposal to fortify my defenses.

Here’s the rub: I don’t have any money. During a fairly recent descent into madness, I lost it all and I literally have no money at all. I’m looking for work, but for the moment I simply must do without my Rx, which is about $100 a month. Obviously an entire book can be written about our broken health care system in the US–and many have–especially about preventative measures and the long-term cost-benefit savings of a Single-Payer system(Wow, that’s alot of hyphens), but for now I’m just journaling my own personal experience.

If I had Diabetes or AIDS or Crohn’s disease and needed life saving medications, that would be different. Maybe then I’d start a GoFundMe or file for disability, et cetera, but this prescription doesn’t seem to have, as far as I can tell from my extremely subjective observations, an earth-moving effect on my mood or functioning. So I feel confident that I can do without until I figure something out. Of course, feeling confident that “I’m good” or “past it” is what has historically led me to be less vigilant about my maintenance and nurturing of my mental illness and substance abuse, thus leading toward mental breakdowns, depression, and even suicide.

I’m riding my bike 223 miles to the Native American reservation where my mom lives and hope that I can receive some assistance with my prescriptions. until then I’ll be wrestling, with a listening ear, with my question:

To Rx, or not to Rx?